Hey everyone 🙋
Been a long time since I have posted a Sunday Gyaan so here it is, me full of thoughts, rants and gyaan overloaded…
So here is the controversial topic of Love marriage vs Arranged marriage
( LM/AM)
A lot of us have been through either of them..
To those, who have a LM, we think, Oh! what a lucky person to have found true love and then getting hitched to the same person..really wonderful!!
To the arranged marriage (AM) ones, it is their patience, perseverance and most importantly a belief that life will offer them with the best!!
As long as love prevails both love and arranged marriages are rosy and nice..
Once life moves on, responsibilities sink in, irrespective of whether Love marriage (LM) or an Arranged marriage (AM) problems creep in..some cope with it, some can’t..
So how does one feel about a relationship ending??
Not many talk about a break up..It’s always about giving us the eye blinding details of how perfect their marriages and relationships are..
When I asked Voldemort (of course, the one who cannot be named🙄) She was of the opinion that love marriages always fail and I, being me, Nee immediately cringed and wanted to say a biguhh Noooo!!!
I felt she was wrong!!
She told me that in love marriages they don’t care about anyone, especially about the elders/ in-laws opinions!! Whereas according to her, in arranged marriages the couple discuss with everyone in the family🙄 Hence, in AM you see very few marriages ending!!
I as usual begged to differ!!
My take on it..
First of all in India even to this day LM are a taboo, slowly people are getting used to this concept, yet the couple involved have a really tough time convincing their respective families and when such a marriage ends?? It’s disaster!!
It is not that LM end cause they (the couple concerned) don’t care about the elders opinion!! No!! In fact (in India at least) I am sure the couples having had a LM put in more effort to please the in laws cause they were never liked by them or never felt welcomed in the first place (maybe gradually later on as they start gelling with the family, things change)
In AMs, the couple’s families meet..
If there is a slight problem, the families first get involved, they sort it out for the couple..Whether the couple are at fault or not, their problems are solved by the elders..
Whereas in LMs the couples can’t go to their elders cause of shame that they are unable to handle the problems themselves and if a few courageous ones (like me😝 ) tell it out, we get to hear 🙄
“We never asked you to find each other, we never asked you to get married, you both had a LM, so sort it out your selves!!” 😕 or even more
“I told you so!!! You never listened, now face the consequences!!” 😒
So now you know what I feel..🤔
It’s my opinion entirely that people who have LM are at a more difficult situation than the AM ones, not saying that AMs have it easy, the pressure of living upto the elders expectations is too much!!
Just saying LM or AM, it’s upto the couple to work it out..very easy to say I know!!
Yes of course there are times when everyone feels like giving up then that is when the realisation of and questioning self arises🤔
So why did I like this guy or girl in the first place?? At some point in our life they have been there for us and they have mattered!!
At some point they have given us love, happiness, comfort, companionship all..
So that is why we chose to stay with them for the rest of our lives..
Problems come and go..
If one is at fault the other has to bow down and tide over it..
All I am saying is LM or AM, people need to know it isn’t easy to keep up a relationship!! especially a marriage!!
It needs to be nurtured an loved!!
Simultaneously it would be wonderful if some insensitive souls don’t give their opinion based on some irrelevant logic!!🙄
Too much of Gyaan I know..
Happy sunday everyone..have a great month and week ahead..until next time think away🤔🤗
