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Outlaw_nee

Monthly Archives: September 2014

A page from Memories!!!

26 Friday Sep 2014

Posted by Neethu in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

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It’s weird…the feeling is weird…10 years ago on this day…a poem was written for someone, someone she thought she loved for the first time. Crushes she had many in the past but mere crushes they were, but she thought this was it!! Maybe this was the one she was waiting for!!! Little did she know that she would be sooo very wrong. In the coming years she would be praying to God and thanking Him that good this did not work out.
As she looked back at the years that had passed she still felt she missed him, but she knew in her heart of hearts it was never meant to be.
They were quite opposite…She, the quiet at times in front of strangers, other times the bubbly, cheerful, talkative girl,a total hardcore filmy romantic at heart, a girl fed on an average dosage of bollywood films, doing a talkathon like Kajol or dancing around with her duppata like Madhuri or dressing up completely in white, matching from top to down all in white, a la Sridevi.
A cheerful, happy go lucky young girl of 19, who’s world revolved around books…dance…shopping!!!
He?? He was quite opposite, an angry young man types, of an Haryanvi origin, flirtatious in nature, bored and always confined to his group of friends, oh save the many occasions spent on checking out girls!! Still trying to figure out what was He doing here in this college, a party freak and a total mama’s boy.
So here was our filmy heroine falling for the gabru jawan, waiting to celebrate his birthday, waiting to tell him how her heart went into arrhythmias every time He walked by. He as usual was enjoying every bit of the attention she was bestowing on him.
His birthday!! Ohh she was waiting for it since ages, not knowing what to do and how to do anything. She had bought a cute dolphins calender, the one which had quotes and philosophical sayings with dolphin pictures on each page for each day, she hoped everyday, when He would wake up to change it maybe He would remember her (again soo filmy) This particular piece of priceless treasure (according to her) was bought months in advance cause she was worried she wouldn’t have enough time to shop with the internal exams coming up during his birthday, so she studied hard beforehand so she could afford to waste time and be lost in his thoughts  🙂
Next, she took time during her study breaks and made a beautiful heart shaped card, the entire card was sketched red, not painted, as she felt the sketch pen would give it more depth as it blotted the card akin to her feelings which were soo very deep for him (the things young girls think and do.. gaaawd!!)  She beautifully and very very carefully wrote his name inside it with a wish and she made another card a simpler one with lots of glitter added to it, with a poem which she had composed exclusively for him, the wordings of which were something like this…
” Your friendship ……..It’s a feeling I could hit the ceiling…..” a cute poem wishing him lots of  happiness. She did not want it to be an overt display of affection, so she tried to keep it to a minimum (according to her again.. duh huh)
Since his birthday was falling on a Sunday and she couldn’t meet him, she ran upto him after the class the previous day and gave him the packets which she so lovingly had gift wrapped and wished him in advance. He was confused and not knowing what to do thanked her and took the packets and off she ran away happy as ever, telling him she would call him that night.
Came the night before his birthday she took his room mates number (the dude in question did not own a mobile phone! In those days not everyone had one and He being least interested in such things did not want one)
She waited for the clock to strike 12!! On the same day her hostel mate had her birthday too. It was a norm in the hostel to cut cakes and have a party at midnight, so she hurriedly went and wished her friend and she ran out to the hostels main gate (for some quietness) and dialled his roomys number with shaky hands, she could feel her own heart beats and then the phone went Helloooo….. she could muster just enough courage to wish him a happy birthday!! Her head was spinning, was it the time to tell him??no no it would not be nice…what if she ended up spoiling his day…no no!! she hesitated and so she just hung up after basic talks and went back to enjoy her friends birthday. She spent the next day brooding over what was going on in his mind, with her textbooks open, hardly ever reading a word. The next day she trotted absent mindedly to the class revising the histopath slides, Just before she entered the class, our dude came running up to her, called out her name( I told you our madam is soo very filmy, so each instance is described here) she was jumping away with joy cause he had called her name. (She was just short of swooning 🙂 ) She just kept staring at him as he handed her a chocolate bar ( feeling, a true SRK style with violins playing around her and lightening and storms flashing in her mind)  she just uttered a “Thank you” still amazed and happy and confused and everything which words couldn’t  describe.
Indeed it was a feeling, she could hit the ceiling!!!

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She glanced at the chocolate bar in her hands and still dazed she walked upto her friends and wrote her exam with a happy, bubbling mind.
That evening she distributed the chocolate bar, as if it was a Prasad to everyone close to her, including the security aunty who was her friend, who sat with her on the hostels front porch, at nights, in the cold, the ” N ” number of times our madam wanted to catch a glimpse of our dude walk by to his hostel and occasionally he would turn and look in the direction of girls hostel and finding her there would wave back at her and she would be jumping with joy that He saw her and waved at Her ( Omg Meee??!!! He actually waved at ME?? She would think…)
She had just one piece of the Prasad chocolate ( she considered it so divine) and she neatly wrapped back the gold foil and the wrapper and kept it in her diary and made a note of it, that it was given to her by the guy who made her hit the ceiling!!
Today 10 years down the lane…she remembers the incidences, what  lovely memories…..
Though things did not work out between them and they moved on, she still savours the memories and the sweet kiddish antics of hers and her friends who helped her out…
The childishness of those days makes her smile..what a crazy nut she was and her even greater crack pot friends who were with her always plotting and planning and crying with her…her  partners in crime, fun and anguish..

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*** Heres wishing our dude a very Happy birthday, wherever you are have fun…
and
Also to the best friends of medical school…the crazy lott..
( Love you and miss you guys  🙂 )  Cheerssss!!!

Thoughts??!!!

10 Wednesday Sep 2014

Posted by Neethu in Just thoughts

≈ 7 Comments

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Just thoughts

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The other day as I was chatting away incessantly on the phone with my friend over various day to day issues and voicing my opinions and thoughts, It struck me why don’t I write it down, even better,  share it with all.
Most of us are usually used to writing stuff in books and diaries and keeping them to ourselves, max discussing our thoughts with our closest friends!!

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I always had the urge to write, write about things close to my heart..about things which I could not share or maybe just silly thoughts…don’t we all do that??!! Mere everyday thoughts that one thinks aloud in ones mind…It’s like kind of talking to self…nothing but just vocalising with your mind..asking and searching for answers…analysing things…maybe the goods and the bad..the pros and the cons, basically our every day actions…

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We seldom seem to standby and ponder on the various things we do in our day to day life..at the end of the day only the important things or the important events which occurred, good and bad, seem to be registered in our minds and come back to us in our solitude at the end of a tough, eventful or maybe a rather unusually quiet day as thoughts.
It’s these thoughts that make us realise what we are and help us analyse our behaviour, our attitude, our way of life, our outlooks and needlessly everything about us.
( Pardon me if my writing is going on in a medical or a psychiatrical or in an analytical way)
Thoughts are there everywhere around us in our daily life, what we think is nothing but thoughts. The mere process called thinking is asking and talking to ourselves.

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Think about it…why do we feel lonely when actually we have our own fine selves to talk to and analyse things, which each one of is doing all the time without even realising it and yet we say we feel lonely ,we are alone, when its not so, we have our precious thoughts with us.
So making it short.. All I would like to say is value your thoughts, each ones thoughts is their very own special memory, they are things which can be told to no one but still helps us make a difference.
By having good thoughts which are sometimes verbalized, sometimes put into actions we might just be making a difference in somebody’s life.
So not being too philosophical and just ending my notes on thoughts, here’s telling everyone that cherish your thoughts like you would your dear ones or your family, cause at the end of the day, end of your life, these thoughts, memories are the ones which will remain with you forever!!!
Until next time….put on your thinking caps!! 🙂

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